With anything in life there are sacrifices. If we could see the outcome of our present choices played out into the future would we still make them? Would life rather then turn into a depth first search algorithm where we ponder every move to find the best end outcome? While the thought of that seems nice for an end perspective or goal it seems very cheap and glib for the present. It makes the current moment rather boring perhaps.

For what is the end but just another moment. A moment we wish to have for some grand dream or experience but still just a simple fleeting moment. Every accomplishment I have ever achieved has faded into time; become history. Nostalgia becomes the opposite effect as we reflect or try to re-live past memories and still miss our present moment. We are obsessed with almost any moment but the present moment.

We are the sum of our choices, both good and bad. To reflect is to learn and to dream is to direct a path but the present demands everything. It is where true life lives, where the future is made, and where the past is built upon. In acting we aim to act moment to moment. Lately I’ve been reflecting on whether or not we truly live moment to moment. Have we lost that at times and exchanged it for a mindless drive to an end that dissipates as soon as we grasp it, if we ever do grasp it?

Or is that too living in the moment? This life we live bound by time in which every moment is really captured but few actually truly live in. At least for the art of dramatic literature the moments in there are truly lived or played out for the grand arc or story.  But if art is the mirror to nature and at times we aren’t truly living is that to be showcased?

Ramblings of a man who rarely lived a moment before 3 years ago. Succumbed to move through the motions of life because death was something of an unknown. And while death is the inevitable end, spite and stubbornness would keep it at bay, even if just for daily mechanical motions to find solace in thoughtless nights.