After running away most of my life, I made a decision to run towards what haunts me instead, and it has been the greatest regret of my life. I’ve thrown my life to the mercy of the authorities once before and tonight was another chance to do it. I could end it all with one sentence and burn out and disappear. I’ve played the scenarios over and over in my head.
It would be all too easy. Ditch the sim card and current carrier to gain a new lease on life with a new number no one past knew. Drop the job and everything I have here. Drive up North to a little place where I have a job waiting for me if I needed it. Clean up the social media contact or ditch social media once and for all and setup a new email. That’s really all there is to it.
I could take up the simple life again. I once lived it for a glorious 6 months and ruined it to chase a dying dream. I don’t think you understand me, everything I lived so far in this city is a lie. I am not the man you suspect me to be. The only solace you will understand is that I am too much a coward to follow through. So a life that is a lie I will continue to live but I will fail one day; and on that day it will be goodbye forever.