I would be lying if I didn’t say that my journey through acting had not been rough as of late; feeling stuck in my acting, smothering my creativity through defense mechanisms which only leads to frustration. To eating big portions of humble pie as I struggle to stop comparing my current work to others’ best work. It has been a ride of ups and downs and what seems like mostly downs as of late.
But last night was a break away from that, and not just in the sense that something came through for me. No, rather last night was a rare occasion and opportunity where art truly lived and breathed through everyone in that small red room. Where everyone showed up and stepped out to be brave and truthful in every action, behavior, and word. It was quite breathtaking. There was a beautiful scene displayed, mixed with gorgeous and touching monologues. It was a divine moment.
To be a part of that communal sharing of art and truth was a breath of fresh air, and reminded me of why I do this. Why I suffer through the long nights, the endless frustrations, the facing of all facets of my life and self-particularly the bad parts, the despair, the rejection, and the constant struggle of ‘showing up’. Because in a moment, if one is prepared and willing, there can live such beauty in truth that affects the soul in a divine way. To be a part of that is humbling.
I believe that it cannot be expressed through mere words, on why we who journey down this path choose this journey, or feel called to this craft. It can only be experienced. And when that experience comes, of living and experiencing the beauty of truth in acting, then and only then will you know if this is truly for you.