Why do I try so desperately to be perfect? It is a trifling task to become perfect, for what is perfection in this art anyways? When I try to be absolutely perfect I fail and when I fail I berate myself: tormenting myself with every thing that went wrong. I become blinded by my failures from seeing any triumph I have also obtained. It clouds my mind and traps me.
Perfection can be a hidden tool to propel us forward. To help halt any contentment or stagnation. It does push our art forward and leads one to a lifetime of breakthroughs. For we are always chasing this idea: this knowing that there is always more work to be done. At the same time perfection can choke our art. It can send us backwards or in the worst case can have us throw in the towel and give up, walking away.
Thus, I have found it important to keep a reminder of why I act in the first place. To hold within the thing that brought me out of my hole and into the craziness of our art, starting as a shy and hungry beginner. It reminds me that I am still a beginner and that there is still so much to learn. It also allows me to own my triumphs that I have obtained throughout this journey. Those are all hard-earned and they should be celebrated. For if we do not honor our triumphs we have blinded ourselves to our progress and thus have stagnated.
This reminder helps me to stay focused in the pit of failure. The craft we have chosen is a humbling one. One day we are at the height of the mountain with limitless creative energy and in the very next moment we are starved, crawling around lost; zombies to this mistress. Through all this though, is growth. That mountain top is fleeting but so is that pit. We are here to stay at neither but rather to grow as artists and push forward in this craft. There is always work to be done. That is the great equalizer and constant of this craft. It is its blessing and its curse. May we always remember that what we touch in our craft is bigger than just ourselves.