More often then I would like, I forget why I do any of this. I lose focus of the bigger picture that is unfolding and taking place around me. I grow inward and selfish in my views and ambitions. Which only leads to frustration, bitterness, and a feeling of self-destruction. How can we exist just in it of ourselves?
There is so much more to this craft and journey than just ourselves. There is so much more to the beauty of this entire world that we are apart of. It’s all too humbling. In our craft it is our job to dive in and explore the lives of these very real people. To hold back self-judgements and criticisms and to explore freely and curiously the inner working of another that is not so far removed from ourselves.
It is good to be reminded of the beauty for which we strive to hold a mirror to, both good and bad. As well it is good to gaze into that mirror of ourselves and challenge our own faults. For me that is the inward separation of myself and the world around me. Yet I cannot continue to wallow in my own destruction and instead must embrace the beauty of that which I am a humble partaker, and be grateful.
This battle I write of is not a one off occurrence and I know all too well it will continue to happen again in the future. What I take solace in is the fact that the beauty and grandeur of the world and universe will always pull me back in. Reminding me that I am not alone, nor apart, nor forgotten, but a gorgeous part of something more vast than I could ever conceive alone. For that I will always be grateful.