There is that awful feeling at times after you have taken a test and are completely convinced that you bombed it, only to find out later you aced it. It’s this weird awareness of your own shortcomings in full knowledge of what is required for perfection. But what is perfection, especially in our craft, in our art?
There is no such thing as perfection in what we do as actors. Often times the shows we feel went horrible were some of the most griping shows to the audience. This was the case for our 4th show of A Few Good Men on Friday night – the 3rd of March. It was a weird show to a number of my cast mates but it has become my favorite show. On stage it might have felt a little off, strange, or weird at times, definitely. The audience might not have been super vocal at every joke or blackout but they were still very much there and engaged and full of energy.
The energy and the action was just different. Which is not a bad thing by any sense. Upon reflection it became my favorite show because a lot of new and different things happened. Not new things of conscious design or planning but happy little accidents, as Bob Ross would call them. I live for those moments; when true and real moments happen on stage that are unexpected. Little things that when picked up and reacted to by the actors coalesce into this great display of truth.
I think the audience was picking up on that as well, whether they were aware of it or not. There wasn’t just segments on stage happening to clap and laugh in between, but a gripping story unfolding before their eyes. They wanted to take it all in and as it snowballed the energy was piqued until the final end when the audience could then react in full. I loved it. It felt weird or strange but it was electrifying. There were so many beautiful moments and new discoveries.
We had two shows yesterday for Saturday March 4th and a lot of my cast-mates feel that our 2pm matinee was our best show. We had a lot of laughs at new places and all throughout, as well as applause after almost every blackout, and audible reactions from members in the audience throughout. It was a great show, I do not deny that, but I respectfully disagree with it being our best show. It was to the book and enjoyable but I feel it missed the fire and nuance that our Friday show had with all its happy little accidents.
Of course I’m not talking about the accidents happening from the stupid wooden fans that keep falling down on stage. Those things are obnoxious and an abhorrence to everything of our craft. Ok, maybe that is a little dramatic. Actually I think I love those fans. While they create absolute chaos and provide no real benefit to our stage, I do get a little joy every time they come crashing down and we have to scramble to get them back up. I might have to rig something to make sure they come down again next week. It just wouldn’t be the same to not have them come down once each week. I love live theatre!